Restoring my phone at a bar and officially taking bets on what will die first: its battery or my liver.
A Brief History of Eastern Standard Time
New York vs. New York vs. New York (WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! Edition)
Do you feel like you’re drowning in the torrential downpour of bad/sad/terrifying news flooding in from all over the world this week?
Well don’t worry (except for all those things you should worry about), because we’re here to help you understand it all in our weekly column NEW YORK (-er) vs. NEW YORK (magazine) vs. NEW YORK (times).
Extra-Special WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! Edition
Terrifying Story #1: Ukraine vs. Russia vs. Malaysia Airlines Flight 17
- In The New Yorker: David Remnick on Putin’s out-of-control propaganda campaign fueling the violence in East Ukraine.
- New York Magazine answers the question you hadn’t asked yourself: Why were some of the victims missing their clothes?
- But the best coverage is in the Times,where one reporter got whisked away for tea with a mysterious Russian separatist (and his fiancé) in East Ukraine.
- Meanwhile, in Washington: How we know the separatists shot the MH17 down, and (even more terrifyingly) how we know the Russians have to be involved.
- Oh, and in case this wasn’t depressing/weird enough already: Now East Ukrainian separatists have seized the bodies of the victims.
You’re right, Ron. I don’t want to look either. Let’s move on.
We never formally responded to their offer to inflict maximum pain on hundreds of thousands of Long Island schoolchildren who would be stuck in the traffic nightmare.
New York vs. New York vs. New York (Germany vs. Argentina Edition!)
Feeling pumped for today’s World Cup Final between Argentina and Germany? Still on the fence about whether you should root for Deutschland or Argentina? Not sure if you actually understand how soccer works at all? (Psst check out this!)
Catch up on a little bit of this week’s news while you try to sort it all out in this week’s NEW YORK (-er) vs. NEW YORK (magazine) vs. NEW YORK (times)!
My review of the series premier of EXTANT on CBS (you know, that thing Halle Berry keeps staring at on the subway).
Kick off your weekend with the first installment of our educational new series SONGS YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SEX TO.
"Color of the Fire"
Artist: Boards of Canada
Album: Music Has the Right to Children
Year: 1998
No, playing Intelligent Dance Music will not make you seem more interesting. But it will make you seem really creepy when the little children start saying “I love you.”
This has been SONGS YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SEX TO.
Update from @iamchrisbarlow in his new digs North of the Wall: Greetings from the special ring of Hell reserved for Time Warner Cable customers!
Tomorrow on Kickstarter: "Help Me Pay the Taxes on My Potato Salad"
New York vs. New York vs. New York (Freedom Means Old Men Telling You What To Do With Your Body Edition!)
Still recovering from BBQ overload you savvy, stuffed New Yorker you? Well take a load off and join us for the triumphant return of America’s No. 1 symbol of Independence: NEW YORK (-er) vs. NEW YORK (magazine) vs. NEW YORK (times)!
We’re So Free We Skipped a Week Edition!
First up, in another week of THE NEW YORKER where I accidentally only read things that are behind the pay-wall:
- Adam Gopnik reviews the creepy 9/11 museum (behind the paywall, but take my word for it: I went, and it’s uncomfortable–– in the wrong way).
- California Screamingby Nathan Heller. But that’s also behind the paywall so maybe you should just use your roommate’s parents’ HBO GO to watch some Silicon Valley instead?
- Not Behind the Paywall (!!): Emily Nussbaum writes some really smart stuff about Orange is the New Black and Louie, but I couldn’t finish reading it because I have CSAS (Compulsive Spoiler Alert Syndrome).
- Is the revival of Reading Rainbow all it’s cracked up to be?
- In Hyper-Local News: After a tumultuous primary, Charlie Rangel still reigns in Upper Manhattan.
- And in your weird ABHEST Factoid of the Week: I was one when Do the Right Thing came out.
Next up, in NEW YORK MAGAZINE:
BREAKING NEWS: Daniel Radcliffe spotted walking fearsome pack of beasts.
New York really is magical, guys. (Just don’t ask Kate why— she never finished the series.)
iamchrisbarlow
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