Marqués de Cáceres White Wine
($5.99 at Warehouse Wine & Spirits, 735 Broadway)

Have you been eagerly following the new Halle Berry summer series EXTANTOf course you haven’t because it’s about alien babies and space ghosts (and sadly not Space Ghost).

Fig. 1:

Look at our clever title card, guys!

Fig. 2:

Look at how young David Cross and Bob Odenkirk are!

Also Extant is yet another Steven Spielberg-backed project with a robot boy. Just tell us Steven: WHAT IS WITH ALL THE ROBOT BOYS?

Fig. 1:

A.I. (2001)

Fig. 2:

Extant (2014)

Anyway, I made the mistake metatheatrical choice of trying to review this surprisingly tasty Marqués de Cáceres while watching an unsurprisingly bad episode of this show. And definitely don’t tune in for the special 2-hour Extant event tonight at 9 on CBS (unless you’ve got a bottle of Marqués de Cáceres at the ready).

IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: If you haven’t listened to last week’s all new ABCAST you’re missing out on a “zesty” and “persistent” 33 minutes that “pairs well with both making AND eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” (*Emphasis added, but definitely implied.)

IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: If you haven’t listened to last week’s all new ABCAST you’re missing out on a “zesty” and “persistent” 33 minutes that “pairs well with both making AND eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” (*Emphasis added, but definitely implied.)

New York vs. New York vs. New York (Can We Just Give Up Already? Edition)

Does the idea of reading about another eventful (aka “terrible”) week in the news make you want to retreat to a horizontal resting position, you savvy New Yorker you?

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Well don’t worry! Because we’re here to mete out the horrors of humanity in small easy-to-digest doses with another installment of NEW YORK (-er) vs. NEW YORK (magazine) vs. NEW YORK (times)!

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Extra Special WE GIVE UP ALREADY!!! Edition

Terrible Thing #1: Robin Williams, 1951-2014

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Remember FLUBBER, guys?

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Get Excited, Li'l Listeners... Because it's time for another new ABCAST!

#10: The Real Lower Middle Class Housewives of Kings County

Chris & Kate

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Have you been waiting anxiously all summer for the return of our sweet sweet voices?

Well then grab your favorite summertime adult beverage and get ready for 33 minutes of FUN because we’re back with an all new ABCAST!

You’ll hear us celebrate the return of the ABCAST with bottomless snacks, a tag-team wine review, and everything you never wanted to know about the TV shows we aren’t really watching. Plus: Bravo’s Andy Cohen joins us (in spirit) when Chris vaguely threatens him!

Listen now or subscribe on iTunes!*

*100% guaranteed to make you feel like this:

I liked Hootsuite. I liked The New York Times, I liked Coupon Clipinista. I liked something from a friend I haven’t spoken to in 20 years—something about her kid, camp and a snake. I liked Amazon. I liked fucking Kohl’s. I liked Kohl’s for you.

Wired's Mat Honan, who liked everything on his News Feed for 48 hours (so you don’t have to)

New York vs. New York vs. New York (Yeah, Whatever Edition)

Feeling an overwhelming sense of “Yeah, Whatever” at everything on the news these days?

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Join.  The.  Club.

Well anyway, better just to get on with it and read up, right?  Exactly.  Just for you, here’s a special “Yeah, Whatever” Edition of NEW YORK (-er) vs. NEW YORK (magazine) vs. NEW YORK (times).

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Toasted Head Chardonnay (aka TEN DOLLAR WINE)
($9.99 at Trader Joe’s Wine Shop, Union Square)

Smell:  White winey. But like not “reeks of white wine” white winey. More like “hmmm this doesn’t really smell like much of anything” white winey.

Taste:  Complex. Oaky. Toasted. Like I’m eating a piece of toast covered in sap. Or no, I’m licking the bark of delicious Oak Tree. Or maybe it’s more like a buttery-spicy dance on my tongue. Whichever one it is I think we can all agree that I’m WAY out of my league here.

Ideal Pairing:  Pop Chips and Girl Meets World.

iamchrisbarlow:

Worst. #tbt. Ever.

iamchrisbarlow:

Worst. #tbt. Ever.